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Substance Abuse Counseling

We often hear two related narratives from the defense:  That substance abuse rather than greed or malice is at the root of so much crime; and that therefore, instead of jail, what's needed is substance abuse counseling.

I can see why "substance abuse counseling" is right up the defense bar's alley.  You will too when you read this.

The story is replete with the straight-faced howlers for which criminal defense is rightly famous.  Thus, when Ms. Substance Counselor, Sherri Wilkins  --  herself drunk as a skunk  --  plowed into a pedestrian and drove for two miles in city traffic as he died on her windshield, she couldn't help it, because, you see, the victim didn't just step off the pavement. Instead, "it was as if he fell from the sky." The defense "argued [that the deceased man, Phillip] Moreno was drunk and jumped on Wilkins' car and that she panicked."

Yikes.  If the defense lawyer, Ms. Nan Whitfield, doesn't have that much of a sense of right and wrong, at least she has a great sense of humor.

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