Recently in Humor Category

English Vigilantes Go the Extra Furlong

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Jenny Gross reports in the WSJ on a different Resistance movement.

Massive Vote Suppression Down Under

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Australia is having a referendum on same-sex marriage, but there is a problem, Rob Taylor reports for the WSJ.

The Limits of Public Order Control

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Only marginally, if at all, on-topic, but amusing:  Joe Parkinson and Georgi Kantchev have this story in the WSJ.  The headline is "British pubs ban swearing, are accused of having %$&# for brains."

Cafeteria Duty

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Jess Bravin of the WSJ has this light-hearted look at the SCOTUS cafeteria and the traditional assignment of the junior justice to the governing committee.

Justice Gorsuch arrives at the cafeteria as something of a stealth candidate. President Donald Trump, despite running several restaurants in his hotel empire, selected a judge with practically no food-service experience.

The 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, where Justice Gorsuch previously sat, has no cafeteria in its Denver courthouse. He avoided signaling his culinary philosophy during confirmation hearings in April.

"The Senate overlooked that," laments retired Justice John Paul Stevens, who first dined in the cafeteria as a law clerk in the 1940s.
The article headline advises, "Don't Eat There."

Next Time, We'll Steal Something Else

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On a day when a little humor could come in handy, take a look at this story.

It is an only in Silicon Valley kind of story, as police say high-tech thieves were caught stealing thousands of dollars worth of GPS tracking devices from a Santa Clara tech company.

"These devices kind of look like cell phone chargers, so they probably thought they had some kind of street value," Roambee Corporation Co-Founder Vidya Subramanian.....

"The moment we realized they had a box of trackers, we went into recovery mode," Subramanian said. "We notified the police and equipped them to track the devices, and in about 5 or 6 hours, it was done."

Before making off with about $18,000 worth of the devices, the thieves grabbed a beer out of the fridge and cut themselves in the process, leaving fingerprints and blood evidence.

What Exactly is "The West"?

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Several Senators supporting Judge Gorsuch, including Sen. Michael Bennet (D-CO) have made comments about him being from "the West" in contexts that imply that California (home of Justice Kennedy and originally of Justice Breyer) is not "the West."  Is it?

Purely geographically, of course, California is farther west than Colorado, Texas, or Arizona.  But is a movie set in California a "Western"?  The Birds?  Nope.  Magnum Force?  Nope.  Beach Blanket Bingo?  Nope. 

Okay, maybe there is something to that.

How To Find Out What's In Legislation

This is off topic but too good to pass up.

A few years ago, Nancy Pelosi notably told the country that the best way to find out what was in President Obama's health care bill was to pass it.  I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that this remark became a world-wide joke.

A few days ago, with no known sense of irony, Ms. Pelosi insisted that the country must first know what's in the replacement for President Obama's health care bill in order to pass it.

See the third sentence in her letter to Speaker Ryan.

How Voting Works

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The Onion explains it all.

Interrogation Technique

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This video featuring Benedict Cumberbatch and Jimmy Fallon will probably not be adopted by the Commission on Police Officer Standards and Training, but it's worth watching anyway.

An EMP Solution to the Email Issue

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For those who, like Bernie Sanders, are sick of hearing about Hillary Clinton's emails, the Onion reports that her campaign has come up with a solution:

NEW YORK--In an effort to prepare for any new revelations that might emerge about her emails during her tenure as secretary of state, Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton reportedly told her staff Tuesday to ready the launch of several electromagnetic pulses to disable all of the nation's electronic devices.
Following up on my post yesterday, here is how not to do it.

Stool Pigeon...

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Peter Holley reports for the Washington Post:

A possible murder witness is talking.

The question is whether anyone should listen.

His name is Bud, and he's an African gray parrot in Ensley Township, Mich., with a filthy mouth, according to NBC affiliate WOOD-TV.

His latest phrase - the one he won't stop shouting at the top of his lungs mimicking his owner's voice - is a chilling one: "Don't f--ing shoot!"

The bird's antics might be laughed off, but it were not for the fact that Bud's owner, 45-year-old Martin Duram, was fatally shot at his home in May 2015, according to ABC affiliate WABC.  His body was found near his wife, Glenna, who had suffered a gunshot wound to her head but is alive.  Although police initially assumed Glenna Duram was a victim of the shooting, police reports obtained by WOOD-TV reveal that she is now a suspect in the slaying.

Law and Order writers...are you reading this???

Subtitle:  Pot Is Wonderful, Only Not So Much.

From Fox19Now, a TV station in Ohio:

A man in a Hamilton County courtroom finally gave in and pulled out two bags of pot from his underwear- a move that landed him an extra day of jail.

Hamilton County Municipal Court Judge Bernie Bouchard stopped court on Wednesday after an overwhelming smell of marijuana allegedly took over the courtroom. 

Bouchard gave everyone a chance to claim responsibility for the marijuana before he ordered deputies to bring drug dogs in the courtroom. 

The defendant, Darius Dabney, raised his hand and admitted to smoking marijuana before entering the courthouse.  

The ensuing exchange between the judge, the defendant and his lawyer is a hoot.  You can read it in the link

Presidential Humor

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Dan Zak at the WaPo has collected, in his view, "The single best joke told by every president, from Obama to Washington."  Well, except Grover Cleveland.  He alone gets to be the butt of a joke.  A couple of samples:

Ronald Reagan, to protesters at UCLA
"'Make love not war'? By the looks of you, you don't look like you could do much of either."

Abraham Lincoln
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"

The Importance of Crew Coordination

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Completely off-topic, but too funny not to share.

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