Recently in Humor Category

Following up on my post yesterday, here is how not to do it.

Stool Pigeon...

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Peter Holley reports for the Washington Post:

A possible murder witness is talking.

The question is whether anyone should listen.

His name is Bud, and he's an African gray parrot in Ensley Township, Mich., with a filthy mouth, according to NBC affiliate WOOD-TV.

His latest phrase - the one he won't stop shouting at the top of his lungs mimicking his owner's voice - is a chilling one: "Don't f--ing shoot!"

The bird's antics might be laughed off, but it were not for the fact that Bud's owner, 45-year-old Martin Duram, was fatally shot at his home in May 2015, according to ABC affiliate WABC.  His body was found near his wife, Glenna, who had suffered a gunshot wound to her head but is alive.  Although police initially assumed Glenna Duram was a victim of the shooting, police reports obtained by WOOD-TV reveal that she is now a suspect in the slaying.

Law and Order writers...are you reading this???

Subtitle:  Pot Is Wonderful, Only Not So Much.

From Fox19Now, a TV station in Ohio:

A man in a Hamilton County courtroom finally gave in and pulled out two bags of pot from his underwear- a move that landed him an extra day of jail.

Hamilton County Municipal Court Judge Bernie Bouchard stopped court on Wednesday after an overwhelming smell of marijuana allegedly took over the courtroom. 

Bouchard gave everyone a chance to claim responsibility for the marijuana before he ordered deputies to bring drug dogs in the courtroom. 

The defendant, Darius Dabney, raised his hand and admitted to smoking marijuana before entering the courthouse.  

The ensuing exchange between the judge, the defendant and his lawyer is a hoot.  You can read it in the link



Presidential Humor

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Dan Zak at the WaPo has collected, in his view, "The single best joke told by every president, from Obama to Washington."  Well, except Grover Cleveland.  He alone gets to be the butt of a joke.  A couple of samples:

Ronald Reagan, to protesters at UCLA
"'Make love not war'? By the looks of you, you don't look like you could do much of either."

Abraham Lincoln
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"

The Importance of Crew Coordination

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Completely off-topic, but too funny not to share.

Assault With a Cold-Blooded Weapon

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Terry Spencer reports for AP:

Florida wildlife officials say that 24-year-old Joshua James threw a 3.5-foot alligator through a fast-food restaurant's drive-thru window in October, according to multiple news outlets. He's charged with assault with a deadly weapon. Bail was set Tuesday at $6,000.

Officials say the incident occurred at a Palm Beach County Wendy's. They say that after an employee handed James his drink, he threw the alligator through the window and drove off. No one was hurt. James was arrested Monday.

James also is charged with illegally possessing an alligator and petty theft.

A Turkey of a Justice Department

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Advocates for federal sentencing "reform" and other pro-criminal priorities of President Obama's Justice Department want us to entrust early release decisions to, among others, the United States Attorneys and judges the President has appointed.

These are the same good people who have determined who'll be allowed to occupy the seat beside you on your next flight.  And no, I'm not talking about a Jihadist who might blow up the plane.

TWI

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Ryan Knutson has this article in the WSJ on the dangers of Texting While Intoxicated.  There's an app for that.

Simian Selfie Update

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For those who can't get enough of this off-topic topic ... 

What Not To Do During a Traffic Stop

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Here is a friendly video holiday reminder from the Seattle Police Department.

Monkey See, Monkey Sue

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Eugene Volokh at VC quotes extensively from the motion to dismiss in the simian selfie copyright case.  See also prior posts here and here and here.

Tweet of the Day

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From Pat Sajak:  "Studies show 92% of stats are manipulated to make political or social points, but if repeated, are believed by 96%."

Missud Follow-Up

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On Tuesday, while discussing the summary affirmance by the U.S. Supreme Court in Missud v. Court of Appeal of Cal., No. 15-5601, I engaged in some speculation as to why five Justices of the Supreme Court might have recused themselves.  Missud's certiorari petition is now available on the web.  It is nice to see one's speculation confirmed.  Here is Missud's List of Parties section:

All interested parties do not appear on the cover's caption. Well over 100 state & federal judge$ who already sold decisions, rigged hearings, railroaded actions, or otherwise scuttled a case, appeal, or writ should now be terrified of going to prison for at least Honest Services Fraud, 18 USC §201 Corruption, §1962 Racketeering, and §2381 Treason & Overthrow of Government.3

319 Million Americans who've had their constitutionally-mandated neutral judiciary commandeered by corporation$, $pecial intere$t$ & corrupt judge$ want their "government of and by the people" back, and are hence interested parties too.
Footnote 3 is a long list of judges ending in, you guessed it, "John Roberts, Clarence Thomas, Antonin Scalia, Anthony Kennedy, Samuel Alito."

Simian Selfie Update

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Totally off-topic.

A Wall That Does WHAT Back?

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When I saw this in my paper this morning, I thought at first that it was an Onion story mistakenly picked up as real.

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