Recently in Stupid Crooks Category

Next Time, We'll Steal Something Else

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On a day when a little humor could come in handy, take a look at this story.

It is an only in Silicon Valley kind of story, as police say high-tech thieves were caught stealing thousands of dollars worth of GPS tracking devices from a Santa Clara tech company.

"These devices kind of look like cell phone chargers, so they probably thought they had some kind of street value," Roambee Corporation Co-Founder Vidya Subramanian.....

"The moment we realized they had a box of trackers, we went into recovery mode," Subramanian said. "We notified the police and equipped them to track the devices, and in about 5 or 6 hours, it was done."

Before making off with about $18,000 worth of the devices, the thieves grabbed a beer out of the fridge and cut themselves in the process, leaving fingerprints and blood evidence.

How Not to Take a Deposition

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I rarely find much of interest in the California Bar Journal, but this entry in the attorney discipline section caught my eye (emphasis added):

DOUGLAS JAMES CRAWFORD [#202274], 53, was stripped of his law license Sept. 23, 2016, after he walked out of the courtroom during his disciplinary trial and did not return. Crawford's default was entered as a result and because he did not move to have the default set aside, the State Bar filed a petition requesting his disbarment.

The State Bar Court found Crawford culpable of four of the eight charges against him. Crawford engaged in conduct that involved moral turpitude by taking pepper spray and a stun gun to a deposition, threatening to use them on opposing counsel if the deposition "got out of hand" and discharging the stun gun while pointing it toward opposing counsel. Crawford was representing himself and his mother in an action against JPMorgan Chase Bank at the time, and "filed an opposition that was openly contemptuous of the trial court," according to an unpublished opinion by the 2nd District Court of Appeal.
Assault with a stun gun is what is known as a "wobbler" in California, punishable as either a misdemeanor or a felony in the discretion of the court.  See Penal Code ยง 244.5.

Hot Potato

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"A teen stripper, an arson and the case of the telltale potato."  No, it's not a new Hardy Boys mystery.  It's real life as reported by Ben Guarino in the Washington Post.  Stay in school, kids.

A Suboptimum Escape Route

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Peter Hermann reports in the WaPo:

A man whom authorities said jumped a fence securing the White House grounds on Tuesday was trying to escape after he robbed or sexually assaulted four people in the heart of downtown Washington, according to a D.C. police report.

Instead of escaping, the man was quickly caught as he crawled along a fence-line ditch, called a "moat," at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, adjacent to the White House, one of the most secure buildings in the world.

What Not To Do During a Traffic Stop

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Here is a friendly video holiday reminder from the Seattle Police Department.

What Not to Post on Facebook

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The obsession of some people with posting absolutely everything about themselves online never ceases to amaze me.  Suzette Laboy and Kelli Kennedy report for AP on a post by Derek Medina of South Miami:

On Thursday, Medina's Web-based persona took a nefarious turn: First he apparently posted a message on his page in which he confessed to killing his 26-year-old wife, Jennifer Alfonso. Moments later, a gruesome photo appeared on the page: a woman wearing black leotards slumped over on the floor with blood on her face and arm, her knees bent and her legs bent back behind her.

Several hours later, Facebook officials had taken down the page and Medina had turned himself in to police. In a police video released late Friday, Medina is shown walking into the police station Thursday at 11:31 a.m. with another man. Medina, wearing jeans and tank top, walks up to the counter, then seconds later sits in a chair to wait.


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