Although, as the defense bar will tell you, we are the world's "incarceration nation" bent on locking up most of the population just to be mean, I am happy to report that tonight, we have for the moment, and in a small way, relented.
Zillionaire actress Lindsay Lohan had been ordered to appear in court to answer for various probation violations. (She was convicted in 2007 of driving around town juiced up on booze and cocaine). She didn't show, and earlier today a warrant was issued for her arrest. But now a $100,000 bond has been posted and the warrant has been recalled.
The compassionate among us can breath a sigh of relief. And it's not just that this overbearing, jack-booted warrant is no longer out there. It's that she had just cause for her non-appearance. As ABC News reports:
According to Lohan's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, Lohan had good reason for not showing up to court: She's stuck in France at the Cannes Film Festival...
That's it, ladies and gentlemen. Ms. Lohan couldn't make her court date in Los Angeles because she's stuck in France.
And no, I am not making this up. Here's the rest of the story.
The ABC story continues:
"She has filled out police reports in Cannes, [stating that her passport was stolen]" Holley told the judge in the California court. "She intends to fly back from Cannes at the earliest time."
Some contested Holley's claims. Cops in Cannes told TMZ.com that Lohan has not reported her passport as stolen.
Oooooops.
Holley added that appearing in court and going to an alcohol education class prior to the hearing, a stipulation of Lohan's probation, "was her intention." But Holley might as well have blamed Lohan's absence on Iceland's ash cloud -- [Judge] Revel wasn't receptive to any excuses.
"She has a history of, from her prior alcohol program, not attending. Last time she was supposed to report at 8:30, she didn't come until 10 or 10:30," [Judge] Revel said at the hearing. "She should have made sure that she either didn't go to Cannes or if she went there, that she would be back two days before the hearing. If she wanted to be here, she could have been here. There's really no valid excuse."
But ever the club hopper, the starlet hasn't let her passport snafu stop her from having a good time. Wednesday, she partied on the French Riviera, clad in thigh-highs and stilettos. She reportedly jetted to Cannes to promote her latest role: 1970s porn star Linda Lovelace in the bio-pic "Inferno."
Now I know we have good-hearted readers here, so I was wondering if one of you might start a collection for me so that I, too, can get stuck in France. As an added bonus, I promise I won't do any pictures featuring me as a porn star. Thanks much!
Leave a comment